Today I learned what it feels like to help to drink from a two handled plastic cup a mother who probably aided me in the same way well nigh 80 years ago.
It is almost a month since Mum last visited our home. Until today I had not seen her since. For some days further visits continued to be cancelled as our mother could not shift a cold. She was then admitted to hospital with pneumonia for which she was prescribed antibiotics and returned home to Woodpeckers – considered safer for her – where she was kept in isolation for up to the Covid two weeks required period. Only Elizabeth was permitted to visit.
As she worsened it was decided that it would not be in her best interests to leave her home for hospital after medical prognosis was that she was at “end of life” stage.
In the last few days visiting has been opened to all without the need for an appointment. We are, however required to produce evidence of a negative test result and to don masks and full PPE.
This morning Jacqueline collected me, brought and helped me apply an LFT test kit, and drove me to Mum’s care home.
Apparently our mother has better days. She was asleep when we arrived and did not really awake for the rest of my visit. Mum’s head was lifted from her pillows which were straightened in an effort to wake her. Attempts were made to administer oral pain relief, antibiotics, and sips of water. If anything was squirted into her mouth most of it dribbled down her chin. Although she was in such a groggy state and her voice was consequently weak she was able to say what she did and did not want. She knew I was there and in fact held the cup with two hands as I very slowly, with no pressure, helped her to apply it to her lips and tip it enough for her to take two sips.
The care staff were very attentive, checking every fifteen minutes or so.
After about an hour and a half Jacqueline drove me home, Jackie provided us with a salad lunch, and my sister returned to the care home.
This evening we dined on Jackie’s succulent sausages in red wine; creamy mashed potatoes; firm carrots, peas, and broccoli, with which she drank Hoegaarden and I drank more of the Rioja.
So sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope none of this has put her in any pain. It is wonderful that her attendants are caring so well for her. I shall keep her in my prayers.
Thank you so much, GP
A sad thing for any family to go through. I am sure your Mum knows that she is well loved. Thanks for sharing this. My love and best wishes.
Thank you so much, Sherry
I agree with GP, Derrick. Prayers for your mum. ??
Thanks very much, John
Such a difficult time, for everyone. Still, it’s good to know that she has some awareness of those around her, and kind and attentive carers. My best to you all.
Thanks very much, Linda. She perked up, conversed, and took some liquid food later. X
Prayers for your Mum and for your family, Derrick. It is a very tender time to care lovingly for one’s mother. ?
Thank you so much, Sally X
A poignant post, Derrick. I’m so sad to read this news. I’m glad you’re able to visit her, and I’m sure she sensed you were there. It’s good to hear the staff is so attentive. Sending good thoughts your way. ?
Thank you so much, Merril. I know you have been through it not so long ago XX
You’re welcome, Derrick. ?
<3
Thank you very much, Donna
Sending blessings to your mother and your entire family, Derrick.
Thank you so much, Dolly XX
You are very welcome, Derrick.
Sher and I are praying for Mum and your whole family.
Thank you both so very much, Maj and Sher
So sorry to read this — your mum has seemed to be doing so well! I’ll keep her in my prayers, along with you and your family!
Thank you very much, Janet XX
Such a moving post.
So many thoughts. But I can not say more than has been said before. Thoughts and wishes that I am sure we all share (even those of us who have only recently ‘met’ your wonderful mother) and send with very deep sincerity; to your mother, those who care for and love her, and to you both.
Thank you so very much, Emma XX
I’m so very sorry to read this! 🙁 She will be foremost in my prayers. I know that she knows she is loved.
I’m so glad she has great caregivers.
What you said about the two handled cup brought the tears. Life comes full circle. She helped you with care and love…and now you do the same for her.
<3 to your Mum <3 to you and Jackie and Elizabeth <3 to your whole family
(((HUGS)))
Thank you very much, Carolyn. I was very conscious of the full circle. XX
I am so sorry, Derrick. Such a difficult time for you and your family. ?
Thank you very much, AnneMarie X
You’re a wonderful son, Derrick. Of course your Mum knew you were there, holding her cup. I will keep her in my prayers. I’m so saddened by this. xo
Thank you very much, Jill. Mum was apparently much brighter later, and taking liquid sustenance. XX
That’s wonderful news, Derrick!
It is difficult to see a parent getting very old. Our sympathy goes out to you.
Thank you very much, Tootlepedal. I understand your solidarity.
After going through this with my mum 10 years ago and again almost 10 weeks ago with my dad, I completely feel for you. It was not possible for any other family but myself could be with Dad in those final days and hours. I was in awe of the care and dedication nurses and medical people have for the people they look after. My prayers are with you and all the family at this time.
Thank you for your thoughts and solidarity, Chrissy. I am, of course, aware of your recent experience.
Keep us updated.
Will do
It’s been close to a year since my Dad passed. I was lucky because Dad was able to live with us for his last three years. His last three days were spent in the hospital. He wanted to come home but I don’t think he realized how quickly his cancer had progressed. I was also fortunate to be able to be with him in the hospital but because of COVID I was the only one allowed to be there. The staff were wonderful and I’m glad to hear that the staff looking after your Mom are also very caring. I know how difficult the next little while will be. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you so much, Carol. It is 34 years since our Dad died.
Derrick, I’m saddened to hear of your mother’s poor health. It’s a blessing that you are able to visit her.
Thank you very much, Rosaliene XX
I’m saddened to hear that your mum is nearing the end of her life. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Thank you very much, Liz XX
You’re welcome, Derrick.
Best of luck to you and your Mum. Your family is in our prayers.
Very many thanks, Pat
I hope your mum is comfortable. This is such a sad time to go through.
Thank you very much, Sylvie
A very touching piece. I had a similar experience today. So so sad to face the loss of a friend or beloved family member.
Yes, indeed, Judy. Thank you very much.
So poignant and real. Thank you for sharing and caring Derrick ???
Thank you so very much, Val XX
Thinking of you. Thoughts to your mum.
Thank you so much, Gary
you and your family are in my prayers… xxxo
Thank you so much, Q XX
I pray the best for your mom and your family.
God bless
Thank you very. much, More
You’re welcome Derrick
I’m very sorry! I’m glad that at least you can visit her and she knows you’re all there with her! ?
Thank you very much, Ribana
I am so sorry to hear that Mr Derrick. Old age is definitely something to be feared of for most of us. I clearly remember the time when my grandfather’s mother was on her deathbed… I still have nightmares. It’s not at all easy!
Hope you provide her with the best days of her life!
Much love, Arnav
Thank you so very much, Arnav. You are appreciated.
Derrick, I won’t add to what I have already said. You know I am thinking of you all.
We do, Gwen. Thank you very much. X
Oh Derrick, I am so sorry to hear this news. I’m glad your mum could tune in to your presence and it’s always good to hear of one’s mother remaining opinionated about one’s needs. I received the most comforting pamphlet from a hospice worker when my mother was at the end of her life. It took away a lot of the fear since I knew what to expect.
Thank you very much, Alys. It is 34 years since we sat by my Dad’s bedside.
Your mum carried on many years without him, not doubt grateful for your love and care.
Thanks again, Alys
It’s saddening to learn about the prognosis of your Mum. It is touching how you have related the two-handled cups that she would have helped you with in your infancy, and your revisiting the service although with the roles reversed. However, she is as young as the youngest members of the family descended from her, and that is how Mother Nature intended it to be. My the Almighty bless her in the best way possible.
Thank you so very much, Uma
I have tears in my eyes knowing your sweet Mum through your words and photos and knowing what it’s like to lose a mother. I’m glad she got to go to the recent family gathering and that she knew you were there with her today helping her with those sips. You and your family are in my prayers.
Thank you so much, JoAnna. She woke for two hours later, chatted, and took liquid food.
I’m very glad she woke and was able to chat and have some nourisment.
X
A poignant post indeed. My thoughts are with you all.
Thank you very much, Anne. Apparently she perked up later.
That is so sad, Derrick, so sad. Don’t give up hope though. She’s always sounded to be somebody with a lot of fight in her.
You must have known she perked up later, was awake for two hours, conversed, and took liquid food, holding her own cup. Thanks very much, John
A difficult time for all your family and friends, Derrick. May peace and calm prevail.
Thank you very much, Roland
Your Mum is clearly being very well-cared for, she’s in the best place and has her loving family nearby.
Thank you so much, Sheree. Chris’s widow and niece came from Swindon and back by minicab.
Unfortunately, everybody of us will pass or passed already through this way. Even in this heartbreaking time try to enjoy the connection with you mother. It will stay then in your heart and memory forever. God Bless you!
Thank you so much, Alexander
Sending blessings to your mum and your family, Derrick.
Thank you very much, Eugi
You’re welcome, Derrick.
Derrick, my love to you. I am so glad you were able to be with her, and I hope for as much time with her in the future as possible. Your description of assisting her with the cup made me cry because it reminds me of when I helped my dying mother, who also knew I was there but couldn’t communicate except by the expressions on her face. You have included her in your posts so often that you’ve allowed us to think we all know her too, as we know you. Because of this you can know she has people around the world loving her and sending kisses and wishing to hold her hand in greeting. You can tell her that.
Thank you so very much, Crystal. I will X
I am sorry to hear about your Mum. Praying for your family during this troubling time.
Thank you so much, Mrs W.
Your welcome.
Dearest Derrick, I am so sorry to hear that your mum has been unwell. I’m glad you are now able to visit her. The thought of you tenderly helping her to drink is so poignant. Hugs to you all in the upcoming days. My thoughts will be with you.
Thank you so much, Jodie X
<3
Ah, Derrick, my friend … I’m so glad you got to say fare-thee-well, before she heads off to explore new horizons.
Thanks very much, Widders X
Derrick, I am glad you had this time with her. My love to you and your family. ❤️
Thank you so much, Lavinia XX
So sorry to hear about your mother’s condition. I hope she is kept away from pain. It is wonderful that the staff are so helpful and considerate.
Thank you very much, Geetha
Most welcome Derrick.. Good to see everyday activity is keeping you busy
?❤️?
Take care Derrick, my heart goes out to you and your family.
Thank you very much, Lindsey