“He’s Taken A Knock In His Undercarriage”

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This afternoon rugby’s autumn internationals began. On television I watched Scotland v Samoa; Wales v Australia; and the highlights of England v Argentina. I made a few photographs direct from the screen, cropping out the score lines from the top left hand corners in order not to reveal the results to anyone who has recorded the matches.

Scotland v Samoa 1

Here, in the first match, a player who has been tackled attempts to release the ball;

Scotland v Samoa 2

this time it has been released.

Scotland v Samoa 4

Here the chase is on,

Scotland v Samoa 5

ending with a tussle on the touchline.

Scotland v Samoa 6

Wales v Australia 6

Certain infringements result in the setting of scrums where the opposing two sets of eight forwards bind onto each other pushing for possession of the ball tossed between them by the scrum half, here standing poised;

Scotland v Samoa 11

and here placing the ball into the mêlée.

Scotland v Samoa 9

There are strict rules of engagement determining how the teams pack down, demanding a pause at each stage.

Scotland v Samoa 7

Sometimes loose scrums form in play. The ball is then sent back to one’s own side.

Wales v Australia 7

It is the scrum half’s job to pick it up and pass it back along the line of players.

England v Argentina 6

This is how the teams position themselves when there has been a scrum wrestling over possession.

Scotland v Samoa 10

Tries are scored when the ball is grounded

England v Argentina 7

across the opposing goal line.

Scotland v Samoa 17

Sometimes it is reasonably clear that that has happened;

Scotland v Samoa 8

at others it is rather less than apparent.

Scotland v Samoa 13

The man on the ground, having been scragged, has managed here to pass the ball to a team member who is heading for the try, or goal, line. The referee, in order to keep up with the game, is in hot pursuit.

Scotland v Samoa 18

A try is worth five points. Two more may be added by placing the ball on a tee

Scotland v Samoa 14

and kicking it

Scotland v Samoa 15

between the goal posts above the cross bar to perform a conversion.

Scotland v Samoa (Finn Russell)

Careful concentration is required

Wales v Australia 1 (Leigh Halfpenny)

from the specialists who perform this task.

Scotland v Samoa 12

Instructions are periodically mouthed from behind the ball in order to prevent lip-reading.

Scotland v Samoa 19

Team mates generally attempt to pound along in support of those with

England v Argentina 4

or chasing the ball.

Scotland v Samoa 20

Occasionally one man will get clean away

Wales v Australia 9

on his own;

England v Argentina 5

or have a cluster of opposition players between him and his support.

Wales v Australia 2

Hands and feet compete with each other over the ball.

Wales v Australia 3

When the ball has been kicked into touch, or out of play, the two sets of forwards line up alongside each other, it is then thrown between them and caught by one of the players who may be lifted to aid his jump.

Wales v Australia 4

When spectators spot themselves on the large television screen at the ground, they generally attempt to catch the attention of their friends at home.

Wales v Australia 8

Others check out their own photographs on their mobile devices.

Scotland v Samoa 16

It is quite usual for medical attention to be required. Injuries may be comparatively slight;

Wales v Australia 10

if a player is bleeding he must leave the field to be stitched up and/or bandaged, and may be temporarily replaced by ‘a blood replacement’.

Wales v Australia 5

Medics may step onto the field to assess damage and offer assistance. When this gentleman took a break, the commentator offered the opinion that he had “taken a knock in his undercarriage”.

Wales v Australia 11

The opposing players may be tackled by wrapping arms around them as you charge into them.

England v Argentina 3

This cannot be above shoulder height.

England v Argentina 1

It is not permitted to tackle a player in the air;

England v Argentina 2

and if you up-end him you are responsible for his landing safely.

For those unfamiliar with our more civilised national game, I hope this has made it a little more comprehensible.

This evening Jackie and I dined on Mr Chan’s Hordle Chinese Take Away with which I drank more of the malbec.

 

Rancid

A number of readers rightly gathered, from its brevity and the absence of culinary description in yesterday’s post, that I had run out of creative steam. For those concerned about the lack of sustenance, I can say that we had boiled eggs and toast for breakfast. On our knees of course. Well, on plates on our knees to be precise.Boiled eggs

We had packed the egg-cups, but there is no end to Jackie’s ingenuity.

Offers of weekend help have come from Danni, Becky, Flo, and Ian. These have been gratefully accepted. We should have quite a party.

Cupboard under stairsMeanwhile, I boxed up the contents of the airing cupboard and the shelves occupying the spare room; and cleared out the cupboard under the stairs. Those who know we live in a flat may wonder why we have a cupboard under the stairs. We are blessed with one because it is in the bathroom. ‘What?’ you may ask. Well, you see, the building underwent a vast conversion into its seventeen apartments in the 1980s. Our bathroom occupies part of what was the main entrance hall. The area under the main staircase provides us with the said storage space.

The more we achieve before the weekend, the more family fun we can have. Volunteer helpers, please note, you are required to bring your own wine and ale glasses.

One of the processes it is advisable to follow when moving house is that of emptying the freezer and the fridge. This is best done during the preceding days, so that the contents can be enjoyed and cooking be at a minimum. This makes for some fascinating platefuls. Sausage casserole and chicken KievThis evening we dined on sausage casserole (recipe), chicken Kiev, chips, and vegetables. And a very tasty melange it was. I drank Lion’s Gate Cabernet Sauvignon Shiraz 2012, an extremely quaffable South African wine.

Incidentally, my younger readers may not be aware that when I was growing up in the 1940s, people owned neither fridges or freezers. This was particularly problematic in the summer of 1947, when tar melted in the streets. Butter and milk had to be stored in sinks full of cold water that soon warmed up itself. Runny butter dripping off hot toast, as described by Kenneth Graham in my all-time favourite, ‘The Wind in the Willows’, may be quite attractive. Rancid butter slipping out of its wrapper onto a dish before being poured on your bread is quite another matter. ‘Rancid’, incidentally remains one of Matthew’s favourite words, ever since I once used it when he was a child. You’d be really surprised at the number of uses to which the term can be put.

Another such versatile word usage was coined by Ray Chard, who once described a cricket ball that had been returned after being hit out of the ground, as somewhat ‘gnarled’. In our family this word did not have the longevity of ‘rancid’, but I hope Ray still uses it. I have been known to entertain the youngest Knights with it. You must admit it has a certain cachet.