Absent Friends

This morning I converted the following two posts from Classic to Block edits:

Wayback Machine helped me recover the missing portrait of Alan Titchmarsh in the first.

What is common to each is that they contain comments and images of old blogging friends who are no longer with us. Some just move on and stop posting or reading. As Pauline, The Contented Crafter, mentioned to me when we first found each other, that is OK. Often we never know the reason for disappearance. One of these stated he was no longer following after a mystifying strop.

Pauline was a generous and friendly crafter whose presents, like her bookmarks and light catchers, brightened the lives of many bloggers. Her death made her sorely missed. The same applies to Cynthia Jobin, a talented poet. Painkills2, an excellent photographer, struggled with permanent crippling pain and did eventually succumb to her ailment. Mary Tang, who grew large fruit trees in pots alongside her apartment in Sydney, has been forced to stop typing because of her condition. I do not know whether she is still alive, but she sent Jackie a mug which she treasures.

It is most helpful when people who are able, like Pauline’s daughter, Danella, let us know why such friends have suddenly become absent.

This hot afternoon, after shopping at Tesco, Jackie drove me into the forest.

Two donkeys sought shade against the side of a building in East Boldre, where

others must have rued their shaggy winter coats.

Further along the road a foal clung to his mother’s skirts when I closed the car door rather too loudly.

Shetland ponies cropped verges of Pilley Street and Jordan’s Lane

where the lake is now drying up, enough for

a pony and foal to graze where they would recently have paddled.

When the mother leading her foal thundered up from the lake bed her offspring became so frisky that I stood pointing them out to oncoming vehicles driving past.

The yarn decoration on the Pilley Hill letter box now advertises the produce that will be available at the fete on 8th of July.

Early this morning Jackie had driven Dillon and his family to Southampton airport to see him off on a trip to South Carolina for family business which will keep him away for two weeks. He was therefore unable to share our dinner of beef burgers in soft rolls layered with bacon, cheese, and Mrs Elswood’s pickled sandwich gherkins, with lashings of fried onions, and herby potato wedges prepared by Becky. Jackie drank Hoegaarden and I drank more of the Fleurie.

71 comments

  1. Pauline, the contented crafter introduced me to using “inks” in my art…and then she was gone, having only known her a short period.

    1. It was such a shock, because she seemed to have recovered well. I am not surprised you have that memory of her. Thanks very much, Catherine

  2. Love your equine pictures and the ode to former bloggers. I had been following a cancer survivor whose health was clearly failing toward the end. His daughter let us know when he passed. Hope many years from now, your family will do that. ????

  3. I love the beautiful pony photos! It’s so fun how someone is dressing up the letter box, I’ve never seen that here. I have seen bloggers disappear over the years I’ve been on WordPress, we just never know what really happened, do we.

    I don’t understand what you mean by Converting a post from the Classic editor to the Block editor. I have never used that block thing and don’t want to. I have a plugin that allows me to use the classic editor, thank God!

    1. The main benefit of the Block thing is the galleries – I wouldn’t convert them if it weren’t for the fact that, since the change of my site, anyone who tries to enlarge a picture on Classic gets the response Nothing Here. Thanks a lot, John

      1. This is interesting because When I put up a series of thumbnail photos in the classic mode, they enlarge into a viewer and you can see them well. Check my tractor post and see?

        1. I think this is all to do with the change of management of my site after I overran space in WP and they would not let me post more pictures.

      1. That’s nice to know, GP! It seems very wrong that WP does what it does to us. Very disrespectful. I hope that I’m the future there will be another blogging platform that is as good as WP. These people need some serious competition.

  4. I always love seeing the ponies, especially the shetlands with their long manes. Your lunch of beef burgers made me hungry. I’m off to prepare something like that for us. Wish I had some of your Fleurie to accompany it!

  5. To absent friends! I know Pauline was quite beloved, and it’s good her blogger friends were able to find out what happened to her.
    I was just in touch with someone I haven’t seen or spoken to in decades, and we talked for about 3 hours on the phone! And I mentioned you in connection with roses and gardening. 🙂

    I especially love the donkeys bookending the door in today’s set of photos.

  6. The two donkeys seeking shade against the side of a building in East Boldre, caught my eye, and I am wondering what they are waiting for, that is behind the doorway

    1. I didn’t pay any attention to the building itself, but I think it is a community centre. Donkeys and ponies often stand in the shade of a wall. Thanks very much, Ivor

  7. I enjoyed the photos in Quiet Reflections and the ponies and foals, especially the photo of the foal bending his neck down to scratch. Thank you for remembering absent friends. I’m reminded of Natalie Scarberry who passed away in 2019. She had lots of flower photos on her blog: https://sacredtouches.com/

    1. Thank you very much for this link, JoAnna. I came to Natalie’s blog quite late, but I do remember her

  8. I totally understand about the missing friends. some of the most beautiful writers have parted company, and wait at the other end.
    As always, beautiful images of the donkeys.

  9. It is always nice when there is someone around to let a blogger’s followers know what has happened. We are left wondering at times, missing them, not knowing if they are still alive or not.
    Lovely photos of the horses and donkeys

  10. I just read quiet reflection and now better understand this post. It’s stunning to see all three names/comments as the first three on the post. I’ve been grateful for the families of a few bloggers who were able to share the loss, understanding what that person meant to this blogging community. It is startling when a blogger seems to stop without any known reason. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Derrick. I spoke with Danella and Joanna earlier today.

    1. Thank you very much, Alys. I am pleased you are still in touch with Pauline’s daughters.

  11. The photograph of the two donkeys seeking shade against the side of a building in East Boldre could have been taken here in Grahamstown! I too have been left wondering about some absent bloggers who have regularly commented on my blog then disappeared. You are right: some probably feel they have had enough of my blog or even of blogging – the latter requires effort not everyone wishes to continue. One blogger told me she didn’t have time to read blogs anymore, another told me my posts were too long … others, who knows. We get to know one another quite well over the years.

    1. Thanks very much, Anne. The only posts of yours that could be considered long may be the stories – but not too long for me.

  12. ‘Tis sad when blogging friends die…or even just stop blogging. We miss them so very much!
    I’ve lost too many blog-friends through the years, who have died, and I still think of them and appreciate the friendship and joy they brought to me. ❤️ Most recent was our dear Michel Fauquet. We became friends on another blog site in 2006 or 2007. ❤️
    Beautiful equines photos…they bring the smiles!
    Prayers and best wishes for Dillon while he is away…also for Flo and Ellie while he is traveling.
    (((HUGS))) to all!

    1. I remember Michel as well, although of not so long acquaintance. Thanks very much, Carolyn X

  13. Pauline was a delight, wasn’t she? Always full of encouragement and humour. It’s always a matter of soeculsuoln when a vigorous correspondent appears to disappear with no reason but I suppose its inevitable.

  14. Your post is so poignant. I, too, have lost blogging friends, some through death and some because they have decided not to blog any longer. How I miss them! A lovely example of how through blogging you meet people who become friends and touch your heart.

    1. Exactly, Laurie. We will never forget you and Clif toasting us on the patio. Thanks very much

  15. This is so true, Derrick. We lose wordpress friends all the time and it is not just to death. Some go through harrowing times and stop posting. Others just wander away from the habit of posting, which is often a great pity. I am trying to post at least once a month but it is not necessarily possible with work and all the travels. Your recount of your dinner or lunch is always interesting to read but you have outdone yourself here. It is quite poetic 🙂

  16. I am saddened to hear of a blogger’s demise. Many have become good friends. even if only virtually.

    And speaking of blog issues, I literally had to reconstruct my blog due to the theme I was using malfunctioned. I have over 200 posts in draft mode that need attention plus I am moving all posts from Ongoing Whimsy to Moonwashed Musings, which there are over 200 in draft mode. It’s been quite time-consuming and frustrating but I feel I am moving forward and my blog is stable.

    1. Thanks very much, Eugi. It looks as if you have surmounted your problems

  17. I’m saddened when bloggers I’ve connected with go silent without a trace. I have fond memories of Pauline and only learned of her passing through you <3

  18. Years ago, one of my favorite bloggers simply disappeared. It was especially odd because no one had any more than a hint of occasional health problems. I met her through the WordPress forums, where she often helped out, and her advice helped me greatly as I developed my writing and my blog.

    She was so well known and liked that many people searched for her without results after her disappearance, until we found she had died. A member of a New York radio drive-time team and a well known journalist, she had ended up living in her car for a time — such a sad and strange story. I may repost my own tribute to her as a reminder to people to make plans for relieving their readers of the uncertainty of an unexplained disappearance.

  19. It’s fortunate that you’ve learned the fate of your WP blogging chums. Despite still following a number of bloggers like yourself, their posts no longer pop up in my timeline but I don’t know why? Others I can no longer trace and others have recently popped back into my timeline.

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