In hospital life’s true importances are pared down to the bare essentials. The result of blood-tests fade into insignificance when compared with the ability to get out of bed; to put one foot in front of the other; to preserve your dignity in hospital gowns designed to expose your backside; to make your way to the loo on crutches; and to perform evacuation and ablution without falling over.
Well, this morning, I enjoyed my breakfast, managed a poo in the right place, and wiped my own bum. I had memories of infancy and proudly calling: “I DONE IT, MUMMY”
Oh, and the blood tests revealed no problems; the physio took me for a walk, and Mr Kask pronounced “home today”. But you must admit, I have my priorities right.
Jackie had been asked to collect me at 1 p.m. She arrived at 12.45, just ahead of my lunch. This was appetisingly moist, well filled, tomato omelette, new potatoes, and fresh salad, accompanied by tangy orange juice. I made a little headway, then needed an urgent trip to the loo. I managed to get there without tripping over anything, poo in the right place, and wipe my own bum without gathering too much excreta in my finger nails. When I returned to the ward, wanting to cry “I DONE IT AGAIN, MUMMY’ ……..you’ve guessed………
Nurse Vanessa gave us a very clear explanation of the discharge pack, and Hanah wheeled me to the car and prised me into it. Jackie then drove me home in the pouring rain.