“Help Me, Please, Becky”

This morning we collected my new Epson printer from Wessex Photographic in Lymington. Β Luke was extremely helpful in helping me understand how to load the paper profiles for my preferred Ilford Galerie papers into the printer.

Knowing that whenever I take delivery of anything involving new technology I am likely to leave it in its box for a matter of days, if not weeks, before I can pluck up the courage to open it, Jackie kindly freed the equipment from its cardboard and polystyrene outer layers

leaving me with no choice but either to get on with the job or admit to being terrified. She laid the main appliance on the hall chair and other bits on other available surfaces.


So I began to attempt to study the project.

The first obstacle was the CD containing the software. What, you may well ask, is the problem with that? Well, you see, there is no slot for a CD in an iMac.

Ah, situation resolved, I thought, I have a CD player thingy that I can plug in with the aid of a USB lead. Simples, as a Meerkat would say.

Not so simple – I couldn’t get it to do anything.

I thought I had better read the basic paperwork. That is when I discovered that you don’t have to use a CD with a Mac. Apparently you have to ‘visit the [epson] website to install software and configure network settings’. But you must ‘not connect the USB cable until instructed to do so’. In case anyone is wondering, that dark stain on my jacket is Jackie’s shadow – I have not wet myself.

Next step, I thought, should be to disconnect my Canon printer and tidy up a bit to make room for

the new machine. I was required to remove all the internal protective packaging including the transport lock which took a bit of identifying from the

pictorial directions which were a marginal, minimal, improvement on the average flat pack instructions.

I managed to plug it in and turn it on. This required Jackie at one point to realise that ’tilt’ meant ‘raise’.

I decided to leave it there today, as the next step is loading the inks which look similar to the Canon process; and the one after that involves going onto the website for stuff to happen.

Now, I know you are having an anniversary celebration break, but on your return I may need to ask you to “help me, please, Becky”. On the other hand, I might work a miracle.

This evening we joined Elizabeth and friends Nicki and Andrew for an excellent carvery Β meal in pleasant company at the Wallhampton Arms. The meats were turkey and pork with all the trimmings. Malbec, Beer, Shandy, and Amstel were imbibed.



  1. The battle with technology! I just had quite an argument with my own printer today hahaha. You look a lot calmer going about it than I usually am.

  2. Oh my gosh, this made me giggle because it sounds like me with new technology. I currently have a printer with no ink, even though I bought new ink and it still said ‘no ink.” Who knows! Good luck with the new printer! The photos were hilarious.

  3. Oh gosh, I feel your pain, Derrick. I have no patients for such things. I did laugh out loud at “In case anyone is wondering, that dark stain on my jacket is Jackie’s shadow – I have not wet myself.” πŸ™‚

  4. Oh, how I feel your pain! I imagine you required several wines and maybe even a beer or two just to gather your equilibrium at the end of that! I admit that I gave up on printers altogether several years ago when the short life span and stress of handling a new improved model nearly drove me to tantrum central…….. Now I visit my local print shop as required.

    1. Probably more sensible, Pauline. My 12 year old printer has begun to alter the colours on non-Canon paper, which I couldn’t live with. That model served me very well, but has been twice superseded. My stock of inks would not work with the up to date one. Thanks very much.

    1. Yep. I was once told not to apply for promotion because I was “not in the forefront of change”. Given that this was a Social Work higher management post, I replied “Someone’s got to do the nurturing.” Many thanks, Dymoon

  5. Congratulations on your new printer! Assembling desktop systems was an addictive hobby of mine in younger days. The feeling of bliss I used to be inundated with having compiled a motley mass of components and configured it with required software was in no way lesser than the dawn William Wordsworth spoke of. But I must admit the manufacturers of both hardware and software have become obscene in their desire to lay seize on your resources, physical, mental and financial. Once you buy a component, you are doomed to be locked with them in a relationship where you end up paying them for updates and maintenance periodically. User-friendliness is a fast vanishing virtue and the end user is increasingly supposed to adopt to the quirks of both hardware and software rather than the other way round.

  6. Derrick…I can definitely relate to your post. I hate to put into operration new things, especially when technology is involved. I used to leave that task for Terry to handle as it was “not my cup of tea”. Hey …my last statement sounds so English! Ha Ha! Luckily…I haven’t bought anything technology wise since Terry passed. I know some day I will need to and might be saying at that time “Help me please Becky..just like you!

  7. I understand completely and try to avoid such things as much as possible. When I do find the courage to tackle new tech stuff, I have to break the job down down into small steps, though they feel like big steps to me. Take care and enjoy the flowers. πŸ™‚

  8. Good luck on your project Derrick. I know you will prevail. Fortunately for me, I have a technologically saavy son within minutes. If he balks at helping me, I guilt him into it by asking him, “just who paid for you to get that knowledge?”

  9. Every time my sons get a new gadget, they set it up without as much as a glance at the instructions! So annoying. I’ve put off buying a new printer because I can’t even decide which one! Will wait and see how you get on with yours…

  10. And all of this new technology is just a way to cut overheads and make even higher profits. Companies should offer a man and a van to set it all up for you, at a small fee.

  11. HA! I am laughing because I can relate!
    I like unpacking the tech-stuff, unwrapping everything, setting it out, and even reading the “construction” papers… πŸ˜‰ …but then I let my hubby put it all together and get it up and running. πŸ™‚

    If it’s IKEA furniture, I’m good at putting that-stuff together! πŸ™‚

    Your office room looks cheer-y and love the photo on the wall! πŸ™‚

    Hope your new printer ends up working wonderfully! πŸ™‚
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

      1. Yes, I did remember. What a precious photo of your precious son! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I can’t even imagine how much you miss him…each and every day. You, and your whole family, are still in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. It always seems a great idea buying new stuff, but we never take into consideration how long the set up is going to take. All the best with the completion!

  13. I also empathise, although i tend not to put off the opening, only to regret it four hours later when the progress has not been to my liking. πŸ˜‰

    I believe the CD is a ‘last resort’ for Dinosaurs like me who can still remember what a floppy disk is and when it suddenly became smaller and not so floppy! πŸ˜‰

    I can confirm that, as a Windows user, while initially setting up my Brother printer/scanner/fax i used the accompanying disk, but when i recently had to reinstall the software to get the printer to print from my main computer i did it all via ‘the cloud’ and company website.

    It actually all went surprisingly smoothly!

    Hoping the same for you!

  14. Haha, daunting task for a new gadget. This afternoon, my tab darkened while I was reading. I looked at the settings, the visual link for my e-reader. It took me a while to find the adjustment for brightness. Not that much of a techie like my son.

  15. You gave me a lot of smiles and a few hearty chuckles (actually, belly laughs) this morning, Derrick. I could so relate and the facial expressions I am WELL aware of! LOL

  16. Not so very long ago my Canon printer died, and since I needed both a scanner and a printer for a project and needed them immediately, dallying over it wasn’t possible. I researched and purchased in the same day, and when I brought the thing home, I left the box in the middle of the living room floor for a few hours, until I gathered my courage. As it turned out, I managed to get the thing installed and working in only a few hours, which was my personal best. I still grin when I think about the fact that I did it.

    I rather like the printer, but I still haven’t figured out how to print a photo properly. That may come, or it may not. Given the cost of ink, my infrequent need of an actual print, and the quality of what comes from the local stores, I may not worry about that for the time being.

  17. Oh, this post made me giggle! What a great way to start the day. The top picture of you is priceless and would be exactly the way I would look if I had to set up a printer. Lucky for me, I live with a geek. Hope Becky comes to the rescue soon.

  18. You have my sympathy, Derrick. I’m lucky to have someone to do all this kind of thing for me though I admit it has made me very lazy when it comes to new technology. Hope it’s up and running very soon!

  19. Ian was reading this out loud. I was commenting with stuff like, “Oh gawd, put the CD down and back away from the instructions.” “You don’t need the CD, download it!” Then I saw the blog title. LOLd.

  20. I need a new printer, but having seen your pictures, maybe I can wait. I just put some blinds up in my living room last week that had stood in their delivery box for…oh, about 6 weeks. I knew the power screw driver had to be charged and I would need time and patience. I waited for the confluence of those things. Good luck with finishing up!

  21. Good luck! … I’ve given up even bothering to try and read the paper ‘instructions’ that come with any electronics these days. It’s either the website of YouTube for me, and YouTube usually has much better explanations. πŸ™‚

  22. Ugh β€” I’m not afraid of it but I hate how even our phones will be updated whether we want it or not, & then require unexpected time to relearn… at least you were dressed nicely for it & your office has a great window to have to do it in πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply